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My heart stood still on that Midnight
You At the window in the dark
Your shadow standing still as the thunder struck the earth
The blade clinched in your hand
Your eyes black but beautiful
Your tears and blood swirled on the floor
Your expression silent and lifeless the way the reaper left you for me to discover
I picked up the blade
I kissed your cheek and closed your eyes and carried you to the bed
I lay beside you and cried and tried to stop your bleeding
Here you are now dead, Just the way life liked you
Here you are now dead, The way life robbed me of how I loved you
Here you are now dead, The ultimate price everyone had to pay
Here you are now dead, So many words the reaper would not let me tell you
So now I must whisper my sweet sorrow and unforgiven secrets to you
So now I must hide your scars and try to heal and comfort what is left of you
So now I must pick up your pieces and fix your lifeless body
So now I must live in misery as you conceitedly took your own life as well took mine
Now my darling I hear voices, Your voice, my voice, everybody's voice in my head
Now my darling everything has gone silent at the end of the symphony
Now my darling I still clinch the reaper in my hand and wish to join you
Now my darling more then ever your voice hunts me
And I am scared because I don’t know how to accept death into my arms
And I am sad because I wish to hold you more then ever in my arms
And I am excited because I hear you in my heart and am ready to embrace you
And I am in fear of never being able to see you So let me end this sorrow and complete what the reaper should have started....
Took the Picture randomly off interent...I wrote it about someone close to me... and It was just something I wanted to try to see if I could come up with some kind of new creation..
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:iconyour-heart-is-pure:
your-heart-is-pure Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
so meaningful. awesoem job ^^
Reply
:iconjust-an0ther-d0t:
just-an0ther-d0t Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2005
Beautiful and very touching.
good job.
:+fav:
Reply
:iconcrimsonjester13:
crimsonjester13 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2005
that was.....beautiful,amazing!!! i loved it this is definetly one of my favs!! i loved the way u repeated the same words. very well written!!! i havent found a personal flaw in it at all-ITS WICKED-i love it!!!!!
Reply
:iconcrimsonjester13:
crimsonjester13 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2005
that was.....beautiful,amazing!!! i loved it this is definetly one of my favs!! i loved the way u repeated the same words. very well written!!! i havent found a personal flaw in it at all-ITS WICKED-i love it!!!!!
Reply
:iconcrimsonjester13:
crimsonjester13 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2005
that was.....beautiful,amazing!!! i loved it this is definetly one of my favs!! i loved the way u repeated the same words. very well written!!! i havent found a personal flaw in it at all-ITS WICKED-i love it!!!!!
Reply
:icondark-faerie:
dark-faerie Featured By Owner May 17, 2005
*sob* beautifully sad.. love it.
Reply
:iconsecretcries73:
secretcries73 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2005
you should use the revised. it's great words, but the presentation lacks... whatever the word is.
Reply
:iconheavensent:
HeavenSent Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2005
God. Now this is what I'm talking about. Nicely written, great message and it hurts the heart. A plus, buddy!
Reply
:iconsarahsue:
SarahSue Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2004   Traditional Artist
awww! i love this!
Reply
:iconblablaskunk:
blablaskunk Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2004   Writer
beautifully written!
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2004   Writer
thank u
Reply
:iconblablaskunk:
blablaskunk Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2004   Writer
your welcome...
Reply
:iconatressa:
Atressa Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2004
Absolutely beautiful poem. For the FFFC contest, may I ask which FF this is referring to?
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2004   Writer
this wasn't orginally for FFC it jus fit the theme I didn't get time to write down my FFFC entry so I used an old one
Reply
:iconatressa:
Atressa Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2004
Ahhh
Reply
:iconseraphinedarkholme:
SeraphineDarkholme Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2004
Sadly I can't give you much constructive C&C like angel junkie, as I'm not as educated about poetry as I wish I were as I love reading it, but I can say that this shows much emotion of not just the suicidal Romeo and Juliette that's SO over done at dA, but it shows the frustration and confussion in both love and death which to me are the same :shrug: or at least hand in hand

People who read this should also know that it's not about "you kill yourself and I'll be so loyal to you to do the same." or at least I didn't get that out of the poem because I find that chessy and blind to common sense - I found that it's about feeling SO screwed over and lost while you are robbed of the one person you loved by the one person you love - I can't say that I've ever excperianced that feeling, but you certainly displayed it in a way that really speeks to people :D awesome
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2004   Writer
i have never read another romeo and juliet poem on da at all...
Reply
:iconseraphinedarkholme:
SeraphineDarkholme Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2004
I don't go seeking it out, but some people who try to hard to sound like a dark poet can over do the suicaidal/love thing and if it's forced then it sounds cheesy, but you seem to know what you're talking about because it was a very upsetting read, but in a good way ;) I'm sorry if that make NO sense, but that's just me - I normally don't make sense when I want to write about something I find interesting - hehe - I guess that's why I'm not a poet - I communicate better through images, but this was too good not to attempt to say something :nod:
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2004   Writer
thanks
Reply
:iconoscura:
Oscura Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2004  Professional Interface Designer
This is beautiful...very beautiful poetry. It flows freely, and painfully and goes straight to the heart.
Reply
:iconbloodykissx:
BloodyKissx Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2004
Simply beautiful...Very moving...Just Wow...Lucky person whoever this is written about...but really you have a wonderful talent
Reply
:iconporcupinebush:
porcupinebush Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2004
Oh my... I got tears in my eyes...
Reply
:iconkin-42:
KiN-42 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2004
I really think this poem is cool. It has a such a deep
meaning to me i can see where your coming from
Reply
:iconantidepressant72:
antidepressant72 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004
very beautiful poem. +fav.
Reply
:iconkhrass:
khrass Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004
I think this is one of my favs from you dude. Your writing has come such a long way, very proud of you. :+fav:
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004   Writer
lol thank you very very very very much...
Reply
:iconkazumitsu:
kazumitsu Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004
That is frighteningly butiful.

I keep thinking i've worked out wahts going on then for some resonthe nextline changes waht i thought.
Reply
:iconastoria-raven:
astoria-raven Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004   Writer
Lovely...im gonna take a guess and say it was written about Phoenix..just cause i saw her journal and the date on this..Hmm it seems that when you write about her/ to her... you always get a lot of comments/favs...but its just a thought
Reply
:iconjboo:
jboo Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004
Matt....Such an awesome poem...fuck what the critics said you rock :hug: :blowkiss:
:heart:
Reply
:iconjoey-jordison666:
joey-jordison666 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004   Writer
the older critics know what is best... I just need to try and adjust for all that is all..I still got the autographed cd :-)
Reply
:iconintrelude:
intrelude Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004
i totally agree with angeljunkie. and i do love the work.
have to admit, tho, that i'd love to have angeljunkie critique me
Reply
:iconm0rgaine:
m0rgaine Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2004
very good indeed! i love the emotion and the soul that you have puted in your words :fav:
Reply
:icongirlonstage:
girlonstage Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
This poem is dead in the water with lack of form and originality. Its repetition reminds me of bad kareoke.
Reply
:icon0-carrion-0:
0-Carrion-0 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004   Writer
I think this piece had the potential to be astounding. It's obvious you have talent; however, I think you let your passion get a hold of you on this one, and it went a little over the top.

The subtleties fell out about half way through the whole of it, and we were left without the creative word usage you began it with. I've read this piece 4 times now, and I think with a little editing, you might have a really stellar work here.

Good job!
Reply
:icon0-bratprincess-0:
0-BratPrincess-0 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
i'm gonna cry!
Reply
:icondrippingblood:
drippingblood Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
This looks like the first thing I wrote when i wanted to become a 'writer'. Hence the name drippingblood was made in the days when I was so angst. anyways, this is too cliche, too common, too... & as alex said there is not any suggestions to give you. Start over.
Reply
:iconjobe-1-1:
jobe-1-1 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
Like the poem. reminds me of one of mine even though it wasnt the exact same concept. here [link] .but one question. is Am caps for a reason. and are you postitive about the line break that doesnt happen at So , (And I am in fear of never being able to see you So let me end this sorrow and complete what the reaper should have started.... ) oh well i relaly like it. <gives you his respect)

Jobe
Reply
:iconputrid-being:
putrid-being Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
wow. i really like the pic and the poem. love and hate, bitter sweet. and well to be honest i think its really shitty of ppl to try and change what is YOURS and what YOU call art.
Reply
:iconillusionsx:
illusionsx Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004
youve really out done yourself ..woo so many favs and views..you go mister..lol...can a fav say it all.. from me?...=)
Reply
:iconpleaseletuslove:
PLEASEletuslove Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2004   Photographer
Beautiful
Reply
:iconangeleyes25:
angeleyes25 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
Wow.. this is a beautiful poem .. nice!! :heart:

I wanna die holding hands......
Reply
:iconnicoleg2003:
nicoleg2003 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
soooooooooooo goooooooooooood
Reply
:icondigital-slave:
digital-slave Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
I really like this one.
Great work.
Reply
:iconlittlebeegraphics:
littlebeegraphics Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004  Professional Artist
beautiful.


I think this may be your best
Reply
:iconkaujot:
kaujot Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
Trite and cliché through and through. You give no solid evidence of emotion for the readers to grasp onto other than repeated words and phrases.

She's better off dead than reading this.
Reply
:iconjub-jub-bird:
Jub-Jub-Bird Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004   Writer
ouch, that's a bit harsh.
Reply
:iconsomedrunkblackspoon:
somedrunkblackspoon Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004   Writer
There isn't any possible way that I can offer suggestions on a piece that doesn't step a level above the average expectance of teenage writing. All I will say is...
Reply
:icontopgunlover:
TopGunlover Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
thats really awesome idea!! way cool!
Reply
:iconinennui:
inennui Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
This poem begs to be conceptually trashed. I don't believe you have successfully captured the trauma of finding a dead loved one. In fact, I have no basis to care about the dead person.

Sure you cared about him or her, but why should I on that basis? Emotional input is fine - but it has to push hard the experience that I should be feeling.

I feel nothing from this, start over and try to create an experience instead of moaning.
Reply
:iconfinding-emo:
finding-emo Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2004
Wow, very nice piece of poetry, i click on the picture expecting to only view...a picture, i was suprised when i found this poem. Amazing, Keep up the good work
Reply
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March 2, 2004
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